I was in the phase that I don’t know how to slow down.
Then I went through a phase that I am slowing down but my mind is elsewhere.
“Slowing down” is really a new thing for me. For most of my life, I’ve had to speed up, from starting my day at work to getting myself to change to pyjamas. But since I’m not used to slowing down, I am resisting it like mad.
I realised that I have been constantly rushing through my life lately.
Rushing out of the door, rushing through my to-do’s, rushing through errands, running as fast as I can to stay in place. Because at the back of my head, if I dare to take a break for a second everything will fall apart.
I feel like there’s never enough time to do all things have to do, even much fewer things I WANT to do, especially for myself. I don’t realise that my body is telling me that I am on constant pressure, stress, overwhelmed and resentful.
Weekends seem to be short and even more stressful because I have to catch up on everything I’ve been putting off. So I bury myself in keeping busy, in staying productive, in crossing off the “to-do’s” and dumping more on the list and repeating the cycle of rushing.
This is how I’ve lived most of my life. It sounds horrible now as I typed this post. I’m writing this post to process the things that I’m currently going through on my own journey. If you are also struggling, I hope this makes you less alone.
Canny, the miss swan who always been there for me lately, keep reminding me that there’s nothing to be afraid if I surrender and let go, release the frantic pace of my life, open my heart and mind to accept more space and peace in me.
I took a step back and take time to understand my energy, mind, body and soul.
Having myself to slow down doesn’t change overnight, but there are habits other than dancing and working out that can help.
Yoga is growing in me as it makes my body feel GOOD. Yoga helps me to calm and slow me down. When my yoga teacher introduced us to class with this king of hips opener, it helps me make myself to really take time to breathe (control my breathing) and move myself into the post. The upward swan pose helps my spine and back feel good after a long day sitting at work desk.
When my body gets too heavy, reluctant and rusty, YOGA GET MY MIND IN A GOOD PLACE.
One thing that I learn is this yoga class that I have been attending, it isn’t a “thing to do” but it is a way of being.
Yoga helps me slowing down and giving myself a permission to be happy and feel good, no matter what my current circumstances look like. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I am glad I did. I am not still far from being flexible and I am not where I am want to be but I thank God that I am no longer at where I used to be.